Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Which phobe are you ?

Was going through a list of phobias to see if I had anything (yes, thats right, I have nothing better to do at 9 on a weekday morning). As it turns out, I am a walking psychotic timebomb, a prime candidate for the luxury suite at Agra's most famous landmark - the mental institution. Some of my endearing qualities are:

(List courtesy this website)

Ablutophobia - Fear of washing or bathing. (More like laziness than a phobia actually)
Agrizoophobia - Fear of wild animals. (If I see a lion from up close, it is time to change my pants)
Altophobia - Fear of heights (hmmm..still on phobias beginning with 'A')
Arachnophobia - Fear of spiders (stomp stomp stomp!)
Automatonophobia - Fear of ventriloquist's dummies, animatronic creatures, wax statues-anything that falsely represents a sentient being. (was sh*t scared of mannequins when I was 7)
Claustrophobia/Cleisiophobia - Fear of confined spaces (When I die, I would like to be burnt, not buried, thanks very much)
Ergasiophobia - Fear of work or functioning (sigh! thats true, you got me. I fear and hate working)
Gamophobia - Fear of marriage (this one is shared by all men)
Medomalacuphobia - Fear of losing an erection (again, this is every man's nightmare)
Phronemophobia - Fear of thinking (yeah baby! thinking is for losers. I am more of an action guy. Kaaaching!)
Stygiophobia - Fear of hell (with deeds like mine, where else am I gonna go)
Taphephobia - Fear of being buried alive or of cemeteries (this one keeps me awake at night. Can never forget that scene in Kill Bill 2)

And now some of the funny ones. Can't help thinking who would have these phobias.

Arachibutyrophobia - Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth (no comments.)
Coprastasophobia - Fear of constipation (such dudes have a tough life for sure)
Dishabiliophobia - Fear of undressing in front of someone (who won't have this phobia!! streakers I guess.)
Coitophobia/Genophobia - Fear of coitus (poof! there goes the bloodline)
Eurotophobia - Fear of female genitalia (combine this with coitophobia and you have a rockin life!)
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia - Fear of long words (need I say more)
Phobophobia - Fear of phobias (At last, a metaphobia!)
Pteronophobia - Fear of being tickled by feathers (Obelix's nightmare)
Venustraphobia - Fear of beautiful women (perfect phobia to couple with coitophobia and eurotophobia).
Urophobia - Fear of urine or urinating (how do urophobes discharge bodily fluids then? On second thoughts, don't answer that.)

Asterix the phobia guy.

4 comments:

Ritesh Nadhani said...

Fucking hilarious. Best way to start your day :)

Couldnt resist posting a link to the same in my blog too.

shan said...

I had heard of a lot of phobias in people -- darkness, heights etc. But over 43 years I think I have become immune to all of them, except Gamophobia of course.

Tara said...

Hi Asterix,
Very funny.. :-).. especially the last ones are unbelievable.. I myself suffer from clautrophobia.. thats why I'm a little wary of elevators..
Combination phobia theory was highly interesting ;-)
-Tara

Asterix said...

@ritesh: thanks.

@shan: 43 years? really? I reckoned you were in your twenties :)

@tara: glad you liked it. I have some other phobias too but they were not in the master list, so conveniently skipped them :)