Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Of knees and news

My situation in the past few weeks can be summed up by the following two lines: (with apologies to EUPHORIA)

Seedhiyaan jab chadhta hoon to roti halke halke, my knee
Ab kya karoooon, kaise chaloooon, myyyy kneeeeee
Yes, a few days ago, I hurt my knee ligament real bad while running the Bangalore Ultra 26k race, which explains the lack of "thought-provoking" posts from my side. To top it all, the specialist has given me roughly two quintals of medicines to be consumed in a week. Most of them are the usual puke-inducing fare, but one of them is a "protein supplement".

The "protein supplement" is a powder containing a whole variety of metals, including some Uranium ore if I am not wrong. The whole amalgam is "chocolate flavoured", which means that it tastes somewhere between a damp shoe and a rotten cabbage.

But enough about injuries and medicines. I am writing this monthly post to inform you all about some news in my life. No, I have not been declared pre-approved for a loan, nor have I "already won" any fabulous prizes. It so happened that a few weeks ago I was caught watching pornography at work, that too on a porn web-site not approved by the company. Consequently, I have been shown the door, and because of my stellar surfing record, no other company would hire me.

Yes, thats right, I am packing my bags in Delhi and arriving in Bombay for good as a full-time PhD student. Boy! I can't wait to go through the college's list of approved porn-sites! The decision for a permanent shift to Bombay has been a well thought out one after weighing the pros and cons.

Pros
1. An online collection of movies to watch, that too on a 21" monitor.
2. No need for a daily bath.

Cons
1. Stipend just enough to purchase a month's supply of soaps. (see pt 2 above)
2. Hostel room not much larger than a coffin for a midget.
3. M*%$@#-F%$#^%g humidity.

As you can see, the pros outweighed the cons.

Inshallah! my next post will be from the ultra-happening suburb of Powai.

17 comments:

Solzaire said...

A lot more has been managed and done in that stipend my friend ;-) - a lot more.
May you use that mo'h kneeee wisely bees my blessing and good wishes o little one ;-)

Tejaswi said...

But alas! SP is not around to welcome you with its limbs open. But I am sure you can manage with RK.

Great news though. Same guide/subject/office/building/hostel?

-T

Asterix said...

@solzaire: You are talking about YOUR stipend, which was enough to buy a small African nation. My stipend (if any) is yet to be decided! Thanks for the blessings though ;-)

@tejaswi: Same guide, subject, building. Different office and no hostel right now. I will be in the external RS room, wearing a yellow star of David to segregate myself from the other RS. Here's to RK!

Tweety said...

Welcome to the ultra-happening suburb of Powai !!!

You can be sure of the humidity and the 21 inch monitor but you might as well stop cribbing about the midget-coffin sized room, coz I doubt that would be available !

Use your remaining hours before you get here, wisely, to get into the good books of the_golden_silence !

~Tweety

P.S : efiybjbg
P.P.S : Something for you to figure out!

Mudra said...

Lol.. welcome to Bombay... Enjoy your Ph.D. and Mood I (if you aren't too old for it).

PS - kewsa to you.

Asterix said...

@tweety: Seems like it will be two guys in a midget's coffin then! How romantic!

@mudra: Thanks. I will arrive in Bombay after Mood I is over. Phew! Thank God!

@tweety,@mudra: Whats with repeating the word verification challenge in the comment? Come on kids, grow up!

Vandana said...

I hope the daud bhag for this year is done.. you do realize that knees ka pain (jodo ka dard) is old age ka sign? :-)
Happy moving.. good luck in Bombay.. me thinks you'll have bigger news to share soon.. ;-)

Asterix said...

@vandana: Thanks lady! I just hope that I don't have to undergo any knee operation a la Mr Vajpayee.

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Tejaswi said...

You ain't replying to the Anons?

Asterix said...

@tejaswi: Well pardon me! The anons do deserve a compliment at having broken the captchas. Unless someone has way too much time to sit and manually enter the alphabets!

Kusum Rohra said...

Bleedhy non-sense You should have sued your company for having an inappropriate list of approved porn sites! If they hire such virile, young and enthusiastic men like you they ought to update themselves accordingly.You should learn to fight for your rights.

Do call me when you are here :)

shan said...

What are porn sites ?