Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Beware! Hot steamy pile of .... ahead!

“IBM is driven by a high-performance culture, a place where employees are able to contribute at the upper limits of their potential and continually build market-valued skills and capabilities in both formal training and experiential learning. In support of that expectation on the part of our workforce, we are pioneering new ways for our people to certify their skill levels as both a validation of their value to clients and to reinforce the quality of our employees’ personal skill sets.”

A management drone from IBM made this comment after IBM fired 700 fresh employees (article). They say that life evolved from single cell organisms. Empty-headed jargon-belching retards are clearly the missing links in this chain of evolution.

And being an ex-IBMer (no, I wasn't one of the illustrious 700), I can say that the jargon quoted above is at par with what a sample MBA-holding can't-tell-his-head-from-his-ass manager would say on an off day.

Phew! feels good to get all that venom out!


Tweety said...

he he.... You saved your neck, by getting off on your own, before they let-you-go ;) But that was real close I must say and appreciate the face that you timed your exit pretty well !!!

On a (un)related note, another press release says that, IBM may not be high in numbers where employees are concerned, but the Delhi Division, has reported an exponential decline in the paneer consumption during the lunch hour, since Jan 2008 - and is all set to hit an all-time-low in the first quarter of the year.
Sounds fishy eh ?


Mudra said...


PS- Just get RID of word verification, will ya? Stop being so sadistic just coz you've reached old age. :P

Asterix said...

@tweety: In another unrelated piece of news, paneer consumption in Powai has surged by 700%. The "gaai-bhains" around IIT are running scared! Since it is unrelated news, it doesn't sound fishy at all!

@mudra: Word verification is to separate out the viagara selling trolls from nice well-behaved sharif commenters like you. Don't you agree (about the sharif part) ? Or am I being too 'sadistic' ;-)