Friday, August 29, 2008

Local gambler claims he has a "system"

SAN JOSE (28 Aug): For the past few days, I have been afflicted with the gambler's syndrome. A syndrome where the wannabe gambler usually utters the phrase "I have a system" on the lines of Martin Luther King's "I have a dream". In my case, the phrase is "I have a dream to have a system".

In a recent trip to Las Vegas, presumably for a conference, I met up with an old friend, whom I had not met for years. Since he is a surgeon by profession, he thinks it is perfectly fine to apply his scalpel handling abilities to gambling. Little did I know that his scalpel would cut my wallet in half.

Armed with the knowledge of probabilities from the 10th grade, he persuaded me to try out a "system" that he had invented. After the 2nd beer, I agreed to listen to him. After 4th, I agreed that it is a fine system, and after 6th I agreed to try it myself.

With 200 dollars worth of chips in hand, we set out to the roulette table. I was singing songs of separation to the chips because I knew that I won't see them ever again. It was therefore pretty surprising that we won 50 bucks. Promptly disposing the sinful money to do some other sins that Vegas is famous for (no, not that), we decided to try the system again, this time at 5 in the morning. Lo and behold! another 40 bucks. By this time we had so many chips that I was forced to eat some of them with ketchup.

Ever suspicious, I went to my room and did a computer simulation of the system, which we had come to call our system. I was flabbergasted to see that the machine supported the surgeon.

Our greed grew, and so did our idiocy. We changed casinos the next day, and started another round. I promptly lost 60 bucks. Hmmm...interesting. Eager to recover the money, we went to our lucky table in our lucky casino. Lost bigtime. 200 bucks.

Since then, my catchphrase has become "I have a dream to take the scalpel and run it on my friend". Since then I have also found a flaw in my simulation.

Since then, I have also devised a new "improved" system. Next time, Vegas. I will get you next time.

12 comments:

The Golden Silence said...

LOL

wait...

LOL

no, not enough yet

ROTFLOL.

you wrote a "simulation" for the system while in vegas ?

LOL

on a different note... just out of the "Annual Progress Seminar" mood, I would say you should do a detailed analysis and validation of your simulations ;-) :p

~tgs

Tweety said...

Would have been easier to read the Ben Mezrich (hope I got that spelling right!)

Kitna time hai yaar tere paas.. Idhar mein ek mahine se lagaa hoon, fir bhi simulations run nahin ho rahe hain !

Vaise tera APS kab hai ?
Me going to give you company in September for APS this time !

XGwRnu, (Get rid of this yaar !!!)
Tweety

Asterix said...

@tgs: I did a flawed validation of my simulation in the casino :-( To carry out the precise implementation of my theory, I need more "funds" from the funding agency, apart from the minor issue of revisiting Vegas!

@tweety: I have read "Bringing down the house" twice. Par dil hai ki maanta nahi! My APS is in September too, last week I hope. Not scheduled yet. And I can't get rid of the word verification. I was getting a lot of spam comments.

Mudra said...

I want to know who's sponsoring you to go to Las Vegas and blow up money. :P

Sorry, I mean speculate healthily.

Maybe the system works only when you expect it not to. You know, like a system for pessimists.

I'm also surprised surgeons gamble. I thought only frivolous students do. :D

Asterix said...

@mudra: It was my own money, which I had earned after hours of watching sitcoms and movies in office time. Needless to say, it hurts!
And you will be surprised to see how much the doctors in America gamble. Talk about disposable income. They make the software engineer crowd look like bhikaris outside Haji Ali.

shruti said...

funny as usual ...tickling the funny bone ...well gambling seems t be like somking ...u still want to go and try again!!!!!

silverine said...

LOL at all your posts! I am blogrolling you. Hope it is okay with you!!

Asterix said...

@shruti: As Homer says, "trying is the first step towards failing". But still I tried :-(

@silverine: Thanks, and sure, go ahead.

Ashish said...

....dude i lost 300$ in macau.... spent on an average of 8 hrs for 3 days on roulette ...blackjack... one complete nite too...huh

...kahan hai aajkal?

Prasanna said...

Interesting.. post - you have got some writing skills..

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workhard said...

LOL..That was really funny.. make sure u put it up on a post.. Wd love to hear your scheme..

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